Locked Out of The Loop
by 002219
Summary: On one sunny day in Tokyo-3, Rei Ayanami met a rather strange boy in her apartment. Not deterred by the scary glasses, the orange scarf, the military helmet, or the babble about feminist conspiracies, she reached out to the man, sparking a permanent change in the Eva Universe...


Locked Out of The Loop:

A Katawa Shoujo / Evangelion Crossover

* * *

The classroom of 2-A was relatively quiet, which was, in context, a very strange thing. As the students walked about, talking with each other, their eyes warily inspected the darker corners of the room, as if they expected a shark to jump out at any moment.

Such was the daily routine of Tokyo-3's only school. Always, they stay clear of the shadows, lest the bespectacled, optic blaster-armed, scarf-wearing conspiracy theorist catch them unaware.

But today, today was very peaceful indeed. What had possibly gone wrong?

* * *

Bespectacled eyes stared out the window of the apartment, watching the morning-late officers of NERV pass by in a hurry. The curtains protected all but his eyes, thwarting any snipers that may be aiming for him. Before long, the street in front of the building has emptied out, and Kenji Setou closed the curtains fully.

He took off his military helmet, placing it right next to the 'No (Body) Allowed' sign he set up near his bed. After making sure it was properly concealed, he nodded approvingly before picking up his bag and dumping it on the ground.

He had worked too early in the morning today. There was no longer any room for school activities in his eyes.

* * *

Red eyes stared out the window of the apartment, curiously watching the morning-late officers of NERV pass by in a hurry. The curtains were wide open, allowing the sunlight to reveal the feminine figure of a bandaged girl, watching with disguised fascination as she healed. Before long, the street in front of the building has emptied out, and Rei Ayanami left the curtains, allowing the sunlight in completely.

She blinked, and blinked again, before turning to the door of her apartment. Perhaps she should buy some new bandages today? The doctor did tell her that she should restock whenever she needed it.

Yes, she decided. She should go shopping for supplies today.

Resolved, Rei dressed up neatly, and set out to spend the rest of the day in away from school.

* * *

Kenji idly glanced at the dull ceiling of his fortress, fingering the knife he had prepared, to be used in the case of a feminist assault on his apartment. He watched as the clock continued to tick by, one second at a time, and waited, very patiently, for the day to end.

His military helmet fastened on his head, the young soldier anticipated the distant sleep.

* * *

Rei idly glanced at the staring bystanders, who quickly looked away from her bandages shamefacedly, treating the surrounding buildings as if they were the most interesting things in the world. She watched as they whispered among themselves, and then cower as they realized she could hear them.

Her bandaged head filled with questions, she entered the store and set about her task.

* * *

Kenji found his apartment to be slowly maddening.

The grey walls, the dim ceiling, the fortress of solitude- everything seems to start distorting in his vision.

_Could this be the work of the feminists? _he asked himself. _It must be. They're trying to lure me out. Diabolical._

For the first time he could remember, Kenji Setou found himself tempted to expose himself to feminist snipers, their bait no doubt made well. They were worthy enemies, he supposed.

* * *

Rei found her curiosity wandering into the passing bystanders.

Everywhere she went, they would always stare. When she tried to confront them of it, they would avoid the question.

_Could this be a massive conspiracy? _she asked herself, having no common sense whatsoever. _Perhaps I should start investigating?_

For the first time since she could remember, Rei Ayanami was propelled to do something by her own will. It was a worthy cause, she supposed, though she couldn't help but wonder why she did it without direct orders.

* * *

By the time he gave up and resigned himself to the fate of execution by feminist, Kenji heard his doorbell ring.

It was a very strange event, as people rarely came to see him. He had always chalked it up as them not wanting to get in the way of their would-be hero. Everyone knew that you can't be a hero if you're well-known _before_ you save the world.

So, then, why did his doorbell ring? Perhaps they wanted his autograph, in case he died in a heroic final stand against the feminist army?

His mind filled with questions, Kenji undid his ten locks, put on his helmet, and opened the door. There, standing before him, was a bandaged, blue-haired girl.

* * *

Rei was known for her ability to complete every task she is assigned carefully, perfectly, and without fail. This trait, one that had over time became synonymous with the name 'Ayanami Rei', had also drove her to remember every single tenant of her designated living quarters.

So, when the door to her neighbor's apartment opened, her words were that of greeting.

"Good afternoon, Neighbor Setou."

To her confusion, the (very strangely dressed) neighbor jumped back in surprise, his scarf flying around the air to conceal his face. Despite that, she could still very much hear his next statement.

"How do you know my name?!" he demanded, his eyes wide (behind the glasses, at least) and his back hunched into the posture of a cornered animal. "Are you a spy? Or maybe you're my assassin?" His tone became accusatory, and Rei wondered if this is what happens if you call someone by their name. "I knew I shouldn't have gone outside!This is bad! This is very bad!"

In his state of panic, he did not realize that he could have just retreated to the safety of his room. As a consequence, Rei was able to talk him down.

"It was on the directory," she said evenly, not at all surprised at his outburst. Instead, it seemed that she had decided to focus solely on his question. After all, when someone asks you something, it is your duty to answer it.

"What, really?" Apparently, her response managed to calm him down, evidenced by his acts of straightening his back and narrowing his eyes. "Oh, man, that's disturbing… That thing could very easily be used by the feminist conspirators…"

Rei's eyes widened at that. "Conspirator?" she asked, her curiosity, for the third time that day, piqued.

"What? Oh, that." Kenji adjusts his glasses, before leaning in very close to her face, bordering on even her own exceptionally small personal space. "Wait, first, tell me. Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"My name is Rei Ayanami," she introduced without question. "I live next door."

"Oh, right," Kenji scrunched up his eyebrows, as if contemplating something, before finally dismissing the thought with a wave of his hand. "So, what did you want with me?"

Rei very patiently repeated her question. "I would like to know more about the 'conspirators'."

Her neighbor's eyes widened, and she could tell the bursting amount of joy he was feeling at the moment. "A-ha! Finally, I found someone willing to listen!" He gave a wide smile at his newfound ally, his partner in survival, and pointed to the inside of his apartment. "Why don't you go in? This will take a while."

Rei nodded, and walked in. As the ten locks were once more set, she had a feeling she may have finally found a friend, as unbelievable as it was.

* * *

...

* * *

Time Skip

* * *

...

* * *

Time passed. Kenji, being the paranoid theorist he was, managed to count the exact amount of days since his discovery of a newfound friend.

His count rested on 20 days, 12 hours, and 20 minutes. He could have counted the seconds, but he was afraid the feminists might get him if he's too distracted.

After all, he could think of a hundred different locations for them to take up ambushing spots on the road from school to the apartment. Fifty of those involved bushes. The other fifty involved parkour and lamppost jumping.

At the strike of midnight, Kenji thought he could hear the sound of a giant earthquake.

Thinking the feminists have finally been able to construct their own earth-destroying machine, he walked over to his window, armed and muttering 'I was right all along!', and aimed to the distance in an effort to snipe whatever diabolical nature-destroyer dared incur his wrath.

At least, that was his _original _intention. As it turned out, it wasn't the feminist army that started the earthquake.

It was a giant Eldritch Abomination, destroying all in its path as it continues to get closer and closer to the city of Tokyo-3.

* * *

By dawn, a train arrived at the station. A bored-looking boy stepped out, visibly confused by its near-deserted state. He approached a young girl, who appeared to be a little lost, and decided to ask for directions.

"Excuse me," he called out, and the girl paused in her rather panicked search for 'something'. "Do you know what's going on here?"

When the girl opened her eyes and he noticed that they were empty, the boy, Shinji Ikari, realized she was blind.

"What's going on…. Hm," the blind girl muttered. "Are you new here?"

"Yes, I am… And I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were… blind."

The girl simply smiled and shook her head, although he noted that it was more frantic than what would be considered ordinary. "It's alright. As for your question, well… I suppose it would be easier to explain while we walk. Would you please help me navigate? I believe I lost my cane somewhere…"

* * *

The two walked side-by-side away from the train station. In the time they had to spare, the girl had explained everything as best she could, such as the fact that there was an abomination of nature attacking the city, as well as supplemental information, like the fact that her name was Lilly Satou.

It was a nice name. When Shinji brought this up, she gave him a sheepish giggle, almost girlish in its lightness.

It wasn't long after they reached the street that a blue, quite crappy car suddenly tore its way through mailboxes and lampposts, as well as a ton other property damage, and parked right next to the two figures.

After a brief introduction, the two entered the crappy blue car and headed to a place the driver simply called 'NERV HQ'.

When they reached the unimpressive destination, the driver, a tall and rather well-endowed woman, found herself busy entering the password for an apparent door, during which time Shinji said his goodbyes to his brief friend.

Lilly simply smiled, and responded, "Take care," before picking up a stick and making her way to one of the emergency shelters.

And as Shinji Ikari descended into the cage of Unit-01, he had a small-burning hope that maybe, just maybe, he may have made an actual friend in the new town.

* * *

Misato Katsuragi was used to men ogling her. She was used to the perverted stares, the lustful eyes, and the shameless flirting.

She had thought her new charge, Shinji Ikari, to be the same. After all, if rumors were true, then his father was sleeping with a direct subordinate so often it was organized into scheduled visits. If even Gendo ikari can't hold it in his pants, then his fourteen-year-old son should be no different, right?

Misato was proven so very wrong in the next thirty minutes. She did not know if it was a good thing, or a bad thing.

He didn't once stare. He didn't once stammer. All he did was look ahead, listen to his earphones, and on occasion talk to the blonde girl he had showed up with.

Now that she thought about it, they seemed to have a lot of fun talking with each other, borderline intimate. And yet they claim that they have just met.

Perhaps it was that both were unfailingly polite, perhaps it was because the two were meant for each other. But whatever the case, Misato found herself envious of the attention the girl captured for herself.

* * *

Gendo Ikari did not know what to make of his reunion with his son.

On one hand, Shinji had agreed to pilot Unit-01, and managed to obliterate the attacking abomination in record time; and while he had gambled on the Eva going into Berserker Mode, it turned out it wasn't needed, for his son was quite capable of taking it down by himself.

On the other hand, he had not expected him to be so very _nonchalant. _From his indifferent expression to his almost _bored _way of talking to his own father to the rather fearless murder of the abomination, it all dug deep at Gendo's mind.

When he sent his son away to Jigoro Hakamichi, he was certainly not expecting this dangerous and chilling new player in his game. He had expected the Hawaiian Werewolf to break his son's mentality, and this is what he got instead.

Where did it all go wrong?

* * *

_Halfway around the world: Hakamichi Summerhouse._

[How do you think Shinji's holding up, dad?] Shizune asked her father through sign language. As Hideaki translated (barely, as Shinji was the household's main translator), Jigoro looked up from his newspaper and laughed off her concerns.

"He'll be fine. With my teachings of the art of sword-fighting and fencing, he won't have to worry about anything!" That was the last thing that came out of his mouth, as it was then too busy on the receiving end of some very vicious devouring of meat.

* * *

_Back at Tokyo-3:_

Now that Gendo actually thought about it, perhaps sending his son to Jigoro wasn't exactly the best of plans. Curse you, Fuyutsuki, and your damned connections!

* * *

Maya Ibuki watched as Rei exited the medical bay of NERV HQ. She tried to hide herself behind a newspaper, but it was too late- the blue-haired girl had noticed her.

"Ms. Ibuki," she addressed, her tone even.

Maya, knowing the girl's intent, sighed and shook her head. "No, Rei, there were no security breaches during the attack."

"Then what about-"

"No," she cut off her charge, "there were no feminist infiltrators that slipped through the train station."

"Is my friend-"

"Yes, Kenji's fine."

Rei nodded, and with a quick statement of "Farewell" left the room in silence. Maya groaned and slammed her forehead to the wall.

"I just know the Commander did this on purpose," she muttered distastefully under her breath. After all, who in their right mind would assign a bodyguard to a fourteen-year-old for the simple reason of 'Just In Case'?

Ranting onward in her mind, she followed Rei out the door and catered to her every need.

* * *

The first day of school was quite interesting for Shinji. Actually, it was quite dull, but he marked it as 'interesting' for one sole reason:

Lilly was there.

While he had experience with drinking tea from his time with the Hakamichis (which, in closer observation, would be redundantly obvious, as there is nothing he _hadn't _experienced there), it was certainly his first time drinking tea without having to simultaneously block sword strikes… or being dangled from the ceiling and trying his best to obey the laws of gravity.

Or both. Actually, he decided that this was the first time he drank tea without having to do anything else with his spare hand.

Talking with Lilly was pleasant all on its own. In contrast to the Hakamichi family's rather blunt way of addressing matters (it must be in the blood, mused Shinji) Lilly was the perfect embodiment of the quiet, kind and caring friend, with politeness and subtlety he would normally expect from a maid. Or a robot. A maid-robot.

Shinji shook his head furiously. Where did he get _that_ from?

* * *

"…and it was, like, behold, optic blast," said Kenji, weaving an epic tale of bravery and heroism for his two friends. "It was a close thing. I almost didn't make it out there alive."

Rei listened with fascination at the story. "So, she lived to fight another day?" she asked quietly, contemplating the fate of the feminist.

"Nope," Kenji said through a wide smile. "Once I retreated to a safe distance, I laid a trap in case she thought she could penetrate my fortress again. And she fell for it, and I had the last laugh."

"Really?" Maya asked, sitting next to Rei in the small apartment they were talking in. "Wow, you need to teach me how to do that!"

"Sorry, Miss, but you don't wear glasses. I'm afraid this weapon is available only for those who wear a pair. It's like, a disability-activated superpower. You can't let it fall into the wrong hands, and only those who know the pain of being half-blind should deserve to use it."

"I see," Rei said, though she pouted a little at the insinuation that she couldn't get an optic blast. She really wanted one.

* * *

(Author's Notes):

And so, the world of Evangelion was changed completely.

Shinji became an awesome, katana-swinging, dissonantly smiling Eva Pilot, and stopped Instrumentality. Also, he scored a girl. (Congratulations!) You have three guesses who she is. (Hint: She's half-Japanese, half-Scottish.)

Rei made some friends, and became an anti-feminist conspiracy theorist, and rejected Gendo's Third Impact. Whether or not her friendship with Kenji goes beyond that 'point' (you know what I'm talking about, don't lie) is up in the air. Trololololololololololololol o~

Asuka became nicer and friendlier, because she met a girl named Hanako Ikezawa in Germany. (Don't ask. But let's just say it involved a scholarship, grabby hands, a groin kick, and a heartwarming friendship).

Maya eventually got her own optic blast. But so did Mari Makinami.

And as for a certain silver-haired, red-eyes-take-warning stepford smiler pianist who appeared in 3.0? Well, no one likes yaoi anime, so everyone ignores him. Isn't it sad, Kaworu?

Who knew that the Katawa Shoujo cast can change so much just by _existing_? It's like they're a sort of reconstructor fleet or something.


End file.
